It's Christmas morning. Santa, generously, brought you a new 65-inch QLED 8K television. Exactly what you asked for. Once the last family member had been successfully shuffled out and stuffed in a car back to Orlando, you immediately got to work on your, now, superior TV room setup.
After several hours of finagling wires, speakers, mounting brackets, and two trips to the hardware store, you finally settled in and wondered at the vivid colors of Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation. With the holiday insanity finally reaching a quiet rumble, you promptly fell asleep in front of your favorite new toy. Safe. Happy.
While sugarplum fairies danced away in your head, a much more sinister scene was developing outside. The storm clouds rolled in ominously and without warning. Suddenly, a severe winter storm pelted hail, snow, and sleet! Lightning bolts cracked violently in the not so Silent Night. Despite the chaotic weather, you slept soundly. Lulled by the roaring wind beyond the frostbitten window panes.
December 26th. Wiping sleep from your eyes, you peeled yourself off the couch, and cracked a smile at your beautiful television, feeling content that the Auto-Off setting you programmed must have worked perfectly. Unbeknownst to you, the warm contentedness of the morning would soon be shattered.
On the journey to The Coffee, you discovered the first piece of evidence. As you turned the corner and entered the kitchen, the realization hit you. The stove clock blinked on and off, mocking you. The power went out last night.
You haven't sprinted since track practice, junior year of high school. And even then, you weren't graceful. But, as if now a gazelle, by the grace of a Christmas miracle, you lept back into the living room to assess your most prized possession. No lights. No sounds. No response from the remote. No response from the app. Tears began welling in your eyes, the frustration taking hold as you clenched your fists. You're screwed.
Pacing back and forth, your eyes darting wildly as you processed the situation. Then, like a lighthouse on the horizon in a tumultuous storm, you saw the bright white paper of the warranty agreement Santa thoughtfully included for the magnificent television, peaking out from the demolished packaging from the day before. "Yes! My problem is solved! The manufacturer of the TV - they'll want to help me!"
5 hours later.
You've been bounced around a dozen customer service representatives, and told the whole tale ten times. You've answered the same troubleshooting prompts six times, and resisted the urge to use more than one four-letter word. You remained determined and fought fiercely through the thicket of red tape and your reward? The call culminated in these simple words, "Unfortunately, damage from a power surge is not covered by your warranty."
Dejected. Betrayed. Exhausted. Without even the calming sensation of binge-watching a Holiday baking show to soothe you. Sure, you'll call your insurance company. Sure, you'll get the TV repaired. And sure, it is JUST a television. But, on Christmas? "Santa needs to know the truth about television and other electronic warranties," you said out loud to no one.
After searching Youtube, falling down several Reddit rabbit holes, and reading endless pages of warranties, you crafted a succinct, yet informative letter to Santa to make sure no one, naughty or nice, suffers your Christmas day fate.
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